Another holiday past, another “How To Combat” moment. I’ll just dive right in, ’cause it’s a good one!

Lilli: I had some trouble with [relative].

Me: Really? What happened?

Lilli: I told [relative] that she was beautiful, but you were more beautiful than she was

Me (closing my eyes only imagining how this was going to turn out): Oh, well thank you for thinking I’m beautiful, but that probably hurt [relative's] feelings…don’t you think?

Lilli: I don’t know.

Me: Well think of it like this. What if I told you that you were beautiful, but Corinne was more beautiful…how would that make you feel?

Lilli (eyes big): That would make my feelings sad.

Me: Yea…sometimes it’s hard to remember, but we always should think about other people’s feelings. What did [relative] say when you told her that?

Lilli: She said, “Well, I think your mom is fat.”

Me (really, really…really trying to control a laugh…I thought I might have slipped back to elementary school…lol): Well, Lil, not everyone shares our beliefs about treating others nicely.

This email was sent to me from my step-mother at what could not be a more perfect time.

We’ve been having issues with Lilli sneaking. I’ve been discouraged by this because I take my responsibility as a parent seriously…I try and set a good example, teach her right from wrong, she even knows that the Bible says, “Children obey your parents in all things for this pleases the Lord.” ~Colossians 3:20 However, I know that she is her own person, with her own free will, and she is ultimately responsible for her own actions - not me.

So here’s the email (Thanks, Kim!)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students…here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
‘ DON’T !’

‘Don ‘t what ?’
Adam replied.

‘Don’t eat the forbidden fruit’
God said

‘Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! ‘

‘ No Way! ‘
‘Yes way !’

‘Do NOT eat the fruit !’
said God.

‘Why ? ‘

‘Because I am your Father and I said so!’
God replied, wondering why He hadn’t stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
‘Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit? ‘
God asked.

‘Uh huh,’
Adam replied.

‘Then why did you?’
said the Father.

‘I don’t know,’ said Eve.
‘She started it!’ Adam said.

‘Did not !’
‘Did too !’
‘DID NOT !’

Having had it with the two of them,
God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?

This definitely made me chuckle

Age these days is looked upon as something to fight against. From wrinkle creams to plastic surgery, our society puts the “beautiful” people up on pedestals and cast off the burdensome “old” people. I don’t want my girls to think that in order to be attractive, they need to “look” a certain way. Wisdom, knowledge, the character of their spirit…their heart…it is these things that I want my girls to focus on.

Yesterday, the girls and I decided to visit our nearby retirement home. Well, I think the correct term is “Assisted Living Community.” We made “Happy Autumn” cards - I had decided against saying “Happy Fall,” just in case…lol - to hand out to the residents. The girls had fun decorating them with colorful leaves made from construction paper and even more fun handing them out! Lilli was ever so polite and was eager to answer the “How old are you?” question - over, and over, and over again. Corinne was loving the attention and handed out more hugs than cards! And of course Eleanor was just snuggled in her blanket taking it all in. We had such a nice time that we’re going to visit with them every Wednesday morning.

The elderly deserve our respect and dignity. I feel that by visiting our older friends, my girls will learn to have a servant’s heart. They will learn to look past the grey hair, wrinkles, varicose veins, and look into a soul…to see where they’ve been, what they’ve done, learn from their experiences. At the same time, our older friends will have *adopted* children. They will have someone to visit with who cares about them ALL the time, rather than feel useless & avoided except on special occasions or holidays.

I can’t wait until next week

As we were driving back from Beaverun this weekend, Lilli hesitantly said, “Mommy, I need to tell you something.” Whenever she starts off with that, it’s usually to confess something. This time it was for a different reason:

“Sure, Lilli, go ahead…”

“When I was in Michigan [visiting a certain out of state relative], I told [this relative] that he could not pet my Girlie (her stuffed dog) because it would scare her and wake her up and she might bite him. My [relative] said he would throw Girlie out the window.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Sad and scared.”

“Well I’m sorry [relative] did that. I don’t know why he would say that. Sometimes people say mean things and it hurts our feelings. It’s important that we pray for those people…and we’ll pray for your [relative].”

“Maybe you can call him and tell him to be nice to me.”

(I can’t tell Lilli that would be like starting World War III…lol) “Well, lets try something else first. Next time he hurts your feelings, tell him in a respectful voice how that makes you feel. Then we can see what happens, okay?”

Romans 12:14-21

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Never pay back evil with more evil…Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone…Dear friends, never take revenge….

Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

(Just as a side note, I got a taste of what Lilli has dealt with. I congratulated this relative on the birth of his new baby. Instead of a thank you, I was told, “any congratulations from you are worthless.” I suppose I could do a blog on how to let go of one’s bitterness….lol.)

“That red man with the horns that are gone…” My five year old was trying to explain to me what movie (among others…sigh…) she “liked watching” while she was visiting that certain out-of-state relative’s residence. (Obviously, nothing shocks me anymore…lol)

Any guesses as to what movie she was talking about? It sounded familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on the title. And since we don’t watch TV or listen to mainstream music, I don’t even know if she was talking about a movie out in the theaters. So I googled, “red,” “horns,” and “movie.” Hellboy was immediately displayed…with a rating of PG-13. That’s right, my FIVE YEAR OLD was watching a PG-13 movie. I would describe PG-13 as: completely off limits for a five year old; this is how the MPAA describes the PG-13 rating:

PG-13 - Parents Strongly Cautioned

Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13 years old.

May contain very strong language, nudity (non-explicit), strong, mildly bloody violence or mild drug content.

So how did I handle this? I had to explain to Lilli that even though her relative has different rules than our family, she still needs to think about if it makes God happy. I asked her if the movie Hellboy is something God would be happy watching. She said, “No because the slimy guy was fighting and not talking nicely.” I then asked her if God would be happy that she watched it…again her response was no. I explained to Lilli that we choose to do right things because God does right things. 1 Peter 1:15-16 says, “But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”

We also then looked in the Bible to see where God tells us to watch nice things. Philippians 4:8 says, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise”

Does this describe the movie, Hellboy? I think not.

So what movies does Lilli think Philippians 4:8 describes? Cherub Wings, Little House on the Prairie, & Dora the Explorer (just to name a few). She understands it…but Satan sure does have a way of trying to tempt us away from purity and innocence doesn’t he? Thankfully God promises that “He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” ~1 Corinthians 10:13 And what do I do as a mother of a child who is being swayed by someone who she trusts, but only sees maybe 8 weeks out of the year? Set God’s standard in our home and family…and pray, pray, pray. “For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” ~Hebrews 13:5

And that’s a pretty darn good feeling

“It’s a beautiful thing to show some of your chest.” My five year old told me that she was told this by a to-be-nameless-girl on a recent trip to a certain out-of-state relative’s residence.

I’m sure I’ll be hearing more things like this as time goes on, since Lilli knows she can come to me with questions and I’m not going to make her *feel* a certain way about it…we look at the situation together, talk about the choices/decisions that can be made, the possible results from those choices, etc. So, I’ve decided to start a “How To Combat ___(insert wacky quote here)___ with God’s Word” series.

This obviously falls under the Modesty category. Society tells us to “flaunt it if we’ve got it.” Why? What purpose does “flaunting it” serve? Does it increase one’s self-esteem? Does it positively attract others? Is this where we want our children to find their worth?

I asked Lilli what she thought of that. She said, “I don’t know.” “Well,” I said, “when I don’t know about something, I look to see what God thinks about it…I go to God’s Word.” Lilli and I flipped to 1 Timothy 2:9 -  “I want women to show their beauty by dressing in appropriate clothes that are modest and respectable. Their beauty will be shown by what they do, not by their hair styles or the gold jewelry, pearls, or expensive clothes they wear.” I explained to her that it doesn’t matter what other people think about what is good or not, what GOD thinks is what really matters. His Word found in the Bible is the Truth. I then explained that God still loves everyone, even when they don’t follow His rules. But, it’s a good idea to always follow the rules because it keeps us safe  - sort of like looking both ways before crossing the road so you don’t get hit by a car.

I think this made sense to her, because she then said, “Just like when the snake told Eve it was okay to eat the apple even though God said not to.” Exactly…

Why Your Daughters Love You

You give big hugs

You snuggle us

You rough house with us

You let us scream

You let us cook with you

You take the time to explain new things to us

You don’t get frustrated with us

You give us boundaries

You share your “toys” with us

You tell us we’re pretty

You allow us to be ladies

You allow us to act wild

You encourage us to pick ourselves up when we fall

You pick us up when we fall too hard

You “take good care of us” (~Lilli)

You’re a comforter

You’re a horse, or a bear, or a tiger, or…

You are proud of us

You are…there.

Why Your Wife Loves You

You’re an amazing dad! (See Above)

You make sacrifices

You’re honest, even when I don’t want you to be

You watch LHOP (Little House on the Prairie) with me

You scratch, rub, & tickle me…over and over and over and over again

You love me even when I’m unlovable

You’re never unlovable

You write me love notes

You lead our family

You pray sincerely

You encourage me

You‘re an adrenaline junkie

You can fix anything and don’t mind getting dirty to get the job done
(including changing diapers)

You’re a human heater

You’re not hairy

You’re in AMAZING shape

You are sexy

You’re always ready to play

You’re a jeans guy

You protect us

You don’t yell

You are my opposite

You make me laugh, especially when I don’t know if you’re joking or not…

For example:
Me: “Why are you such a good husband and father?”
You: “Because I want something.”

Me: “Oh the new Sonic opened up!”
You: “We should go…oh yea, I treat my girls right!”

You: “I found these in my jacket sleeve”
(handing me undies) …
“They got stuck together in the dryer.”
Me: “Ew thank goodness they’re clean.”
You: (Laughing) “Thank goodness they’re yours!”

And last, but not least, You are my everything.

Toward the end of her Kindergarten math curriculum, Lilli learned about the value of money. Lilli has had her chore chart in the past, where a sticker next to the completed chore was her reward. Now, she is ready for the big time! She is now five years old and we think she is ready for a weekly allowance.

We actually began giving her an allowance the last week of May. Each daily chore is worth a certain amount of money and when she completes it, she can stick (a photo copy of) that coin next to the chore. At the end of the week, we count up how much “money” she has earned and that is her allowance. If all her chores are completed, she will have earned $2.80. However, if she has completed all of them every day, I give her a bonus $0.20 to make it an even $3.00.

Her chores are to:
* Make her bed (worth a nickel)
* Help with the dishes after dinner - either setting or clearing the table (worth a dime)
* Clean her toys up before bed (worth a quarter)

So far, Lilli has done an excellent job completing her tasks and has learned that “money doesn’t grow on trees.” She usually wants something when we go to the store and I remind her that she only has “X” amount of money…would she have enough to buy the certain item? If she does, then she can make the decision to purchase it or not. If she doesn’t have enough, then she understands that she needs to wait until she earns her next allowance.

Lilli’s allowance has also taught her that Mommy & Poppa are not going to literally “pay” for her mistakes. She recently broke a few of her headbands (by stretching them beyond their capabilities) and said, “that’s ok, you will buy me some more.” Umm….no (The look on her face was priceless, no pun intended…lol). I reminded her that if she is not respectful of hers or others things, then she needs to replace them using HER money. On our next outing to Wal-Mart, Lilli picked out new head-bands, marched up to the cashier, & opened her purple purse to pay for her item. She was even more excited when she got change back. I suppose we’ll learn more on that reasoning in first grade
So how does a five year old keep track of how much money they have? They don’t…lol. Michael found a free online allowance management called Zefty. Lilli has a piggy bank where she keeps her money, but I am not going to bust into it to count it every so often to let her know how much she has. Zefty allows me to virtually make deposits and withdrawals as necessary. If Lilli wants to know how much money she has, I can log in and let her know within seconds. As Lilli gets older, she can log in herself and manage her own deposits and withdrawals.

*** A BIG thank you to Bethany for encouraging me to start tithing with Lilli - even at this young of an age. She answered some of my questions in an email, and I am so thankful for her wisdom. ***

“Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
~Proverbs 22:6

…Corinne and I have been Sukwe-sober for one week. Let’s all give Corinne a warm welcome to the “Big Girl Club!” That’s right, Corinne (a little under 22 months now) is no longer addicted to her Sukwe.

For those of you who don’t understand the word, Sukwe, let me explain. I’m sure you those of you with kids understand that not every word young children speak actually sound like they’re supposed to.  “Sukwe” was Lilli’s pronounciation of the word, something. She just couldn’t say it. “Strawr-burry” was strawberry, “Wohr-ange” was orange, and to this day she still says “Your-gurt” for yogurt. Pretty soon “Sukwe” became our family’s name for pretty much anything: “You’re my little sukwe,” or  “What a sukwe!” But, it really stuck when someone (don’t remember who exactly) referred to Corinne’s pacifier as a “Sukwe.” And then - it just became habit.

I’ve been wanting to break her of her pacifier habit for quite some time now, but have never followed through. What mother wants to hear her child crying for something so comforting and so loved? I would always cave. I started to only allow her to have it while going to sleep, but she is a smart girl and would climb into her bed, get her Sukwe fix, and climb back out to play. Smart girl indeed…but it prooves that Corinne is also a big girl now…she understands us completely, is on the verge of potty training, can feed herself, and no - she does not NEED her Sukwe. “Tough love,” I thought…and so I trashed the FOUR Sukwe’s that were my second born’s best friend. Now there was no turning back…

It took me about an hour last Thursday to get her to take a nap. She was SCREAMING at the top of her lungs, throwing things, and obviously not a happy camper. (You’d think my pep talk about how she is a big girl now would have worked with her…) She finally conked out and woke up still mad at me. Thursday night was a little better, but that’s because the Poppa was home to back me up. Why do the father’s only have to give them “that look” and the kids know they better behave themselves? I must know this secret! Granted, why do mother’s have the ability to sleep through an earthquake, but awaken as soon as they hear their child crying from ten rooms away? That was my case Thursday night when I (literally…picture it) jumped out of bed in the middle of the night to Corinne running up and down the hall upstairs screaming (while Michael didn’t even flinch). I calmly walked up the stairs (understanding why she was acting the way she was) and held out my hands to her: “Corinny come to Mommy and I’ll rock you.” “Otay” was her answer (made my heart just melt) and I explained to her that it was still night night time and time for us to sleep. A soft “Otay” was her answer again and I put her in her bed. She was out before I even left her room. That was the last time we had any issues with her not having her beloved Sukwe.

“Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
~Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)